I have no idea what I’m doing- a Mental Health Blog

Hi y’all.

Yes I’m American now apparently. Ha 😜

Here goes…

I have no idea what I’m doing.

Yep. I literally just spent my entire Saturday morning and early afternoon in bed. Until 2pm.

Yep. I am the definition of a lazy arse.

Except that I’m not. Well… not really. You see I work full-time during the week and I’m sure I’m not the only one who wastes half their weekend days sleeping.

Of course I feel shit afterwards, but the reality is that when that damn alarm clock went off… I didn’t really have anything to get up for.

And THEN, I proceeded to spend my day going into B&Q with my parents (who were essentially the ones who forced me out of bed at 2pm) and we had a whale of a time looking at chested drawers.

Yes. Sarcasm.

The way I spent this Saturday is actually quite a good representation of how I really have no idea what I’m doing half the time. I am forever real and I refuse to play into society’s little game of acting like we have everything together all of the time. And what is it with everyone thinking that you should be moved out, getting married and having kids by the time you are 29?

I’m 29, single, not in a stable career and living with my parents.

Yeah. So what?

I think 10 years ago there was that expectation that my life was going to follow that path that people expect it to, but the truth is I actually had no idea what I wanted to do with my life at 19 and ten years on, I still don’t. I’m in a job that is just that. A job. A means to an end. I spent 5 years at uni studying International Business with French and then Marketing, only to graduate and find it impossible to actually find a job in this area. I spent a lot of my time applying and applying for jobs, only to have that lightbulb moment one day when I realised that I was fighting tooth and nail for a career that I wasn’t even passionate about.

Hence why I’m now in this position. Looking deep inside myself to find out what exactly my passions are, I came across the one thing in my life that has given me happiness- animals.

So this girl with next to no experience actually working with animals is working towards a career in that area and may well actually be taking the leap soon into a summer job working with animals in Canada- I’ll keep you updated 😉

So why am I telling you all this?

I’ll tell you why. Because there are so many other people out there who are just like me. They are a little bit lost, lonely, still living with their parents and generally don’t have the faintest clue what they are doing with their life. Maybe they are in a job they hate and maybe they are feeling a bit down on themselves after spending ages looking through various engagement/ wedding and/ or baby posts on social media by people who don’t really realise that they are contributing to society’s idea of what an ‘ideal’ life is.

Of course we should be happy for them.

Technically.

But the reality is, it’s hard! You are looking around you and constantly seeing examples of how society teaches you an ideal life should look.

You think you should be happy for them, but the truth is, you don’t always have to be! Contrary to what society tells you, you ARE allowed to feel like this. A little jealous. Frustrated. Annoyed. These emotions are normal!

There is a difference you see, between feeling like this on the inside and just straight up being a dick to people.

So my advice to you is this. Don’t be ashamed of your emotions. Don’t feel like you are a bad person for feeling this way, like there’s something wrong with you, because there is literally nothing wrong with you at all.

You are a human being. You have feelings.

Allow yourself the freedom to feel these emotions. HOWEVER…

Don’t be a dick.

No matter how you are feeling on the inside, just don’t be a dick to other people. Allow them the opportunity to relish in their accomplishments, because you will be asking the same of them, one day, when it is your own accomplishments.

Now I’m the first person to admit that I have been a dick to people PLENTY of times.

Yes, believe it or not, I’m not fucking perfect.

Nobody is!

It’s ok to lose your composure sometimes. Just try to learn from it and recognise moments which you can grow, evolve and change from.

I’m going to sign out in a minute, because apparently when I’m writing these posts, I just don’t know when to stop 🙁

To anyone who doesn’t know what they are doing with their lives right now, that is ok! Living with your parents? Single? Not in a stable job? Like I said, join the fucking club!

Everyone has a different journey… and sometimes it just takes a little detour from how you EXPECTED your life to go, to find exactly where you were always meant to be.

You will reach your goals. You will one day have all of those accomplishments that you dream of right now. Sometimes it just takes time.

I’ll leave you with some of my favourite song lyrics from the incredible ‘Stairway to Heaven’ by Led Zeppelin: ‘There’s still time to change the road you’re on’

It’s never too late.

Lots of love,

Anneli

Xx

Peace out ✌🏻✌🏻