Blogging on… Modelling

Shot taken by Dee McEvoy

Hi everyone!

Hope you are all having an amazing Easter break.

So this blog was initially meant to be mainly about my mental health, but let’s be honest, the only way that I can really drive the point home that I am MUCH more than just my mental health, is by talking about other topics as well, which will hopefully pique your interest!

One of the elements of my life that people I meet often take a specific interest in is the fact that I do some modelling in my spare time. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but from a young age, I was a massive America’s Next Top Model fan and that’s kind of what got me into wanting to model. Plus I was always told that I had the height for it. Honestly though, in real life, modelling is generally pretty different to how things are on that show.

One of my favourite ANTM photoshoots ever- HOWEVER in the real world, models do not shoot under hot air balloons 😂

Believe it or not, many people in the fashion industry might say that I am perhaps ‘getting on’ a little bit for modelling, since I’m now almost 30, however of course, I call bullshit on that 😜

So what have I done?

Now I am far from a professional model and although I have done modelling on and off since I was 18, I only worked with an agency for part of this time and the vast majority of the work I’ve done has been with local photographers and/ or fashion shows. I started out by joining the NI School of Modelling (I won’t judge if you haven’t heard of it lol) and was taught all of the essential skills of being a model, including walking, posing and model etiquette. It was almost like a finishing school for models! My favourite part of doing that was the fashion show I got to do at the end of it, where I got to strut down the runway, in my red school formal dress no less, like a badass to the beat of my favourite songs. I was 18 and I had dreamt about doing modelling for a long time and honestly, I can’t even tell you how amazing that buzz of walking the runway is for a person and for your confidence! Literally, you could walk the runway like a penguin and still feel like a bona fide badass!

So over the next few years, I was trying to get signed by an agency, because as most models will tell you, that is how you get the work! In a country like Northern Ireland, where the fashion industry is essentially non-existent, you pretty much NEED an agency in order to get consistent paid work. However I tried… and struggled. Like I tried and tried and TRIED until I was blue in the face and nobody seemed to want me. Eventually, I managed to get taken onto something called the Street Cast Board for an agency in Dublin, which is basically the equivalent of those that are considered too big, too small, too old, too short etc to be ‘typical’ models, otherwise known as real people to these super strict model agencies 😅 On top of that, I had to pay money to sign with them (major red flag), so I’ll let you make your mind up if you think it was worth it. One tip from me: DON’T PAY to join an agency, just don’t. If an agency really wants to sign you, you shouldn’t need to pay for this. For me, however, at the time, it was the decision I made and it did get me some opportunities. It was what got me the chance to be a hair model at the L’ORÉAL Colour Trophy semi finals, where I had my hair completely bleached out of my head and dyed pink. Not just pink, like freakishly bright pink. Rather like candy floss in fact (see pictures 😉).

Me at the L’ORÉAL Colour Trophy competition in Dublin

Honestly, that combination of fluorescent pink hair with my already reserved personality, was an odd mix. What was even funnier was the way the pink faded out of my hair and left it white. Yep, white. I shall insert pictures below- let’s just say it wasn’t my finest hour 😅

As mentioned earlier, here is the evidence of my transformation from fluorescent pink to white 😅

After this, I got a few more jobs down in Dublin, one in which I was a live model for a clothes exhibition at an art gallery and I had a wee photoshoot alongside it, so that was fun! I also was still looking for an agency at this time and I had a few meetings, which didn’t really come to anything, so I was feeling a bit deflated.

My shoot from the live fashion exhibition at the art gallery in Dublin

Apart from my work in Dublin, I also took part in Top Model NI (yep, that exists), Top Model U.K. in London and even Miss Universe Ireland! I think I knew I wasn’t going to win it, as I’m not the typical smiley pageant girl, however it was an amazing experience and the girls were so lovely. It was my first dabble into pageants and it was worth it!

From Top Model NI. Still one of my favourite pictures of me to this day.

Taken at Top Model U.K. I was inspired by Victoria’s Secret angels as you can see. The day before I had a breakdown and considered not going ahead with it, but I’m glad I had the strength to do it in spite of everything.

My favourite official headshot for Miss Universe Ireland

I have done a lot of fun photoshoots with various local photographers and fashion shows as well and honestly, my highlights have always been the fashion shows. Anyone who knows me knows that I love catwalk. I have done a few fashion shows, but I think my biggest highlight was taking part in Northern Fashion Week in Manchester. It was one of the only fashion weeks I have ever done and I absolutely loved it. It was such a great experience and I felt like such a badass in some of the designer clothes I was dressed in.

Me in my element at Northern Fashionweek in all those amazing clothes!

Reality of the modelling industry

There is one thing I will say about the modelling industry. There is TONS of rejection and worse, ghosting. What is it with ghosting nowadays? It’s like common human decency has just gone out the window!

So yep, you’ll spend hours writing out the perfect emails and getting your very best pictures together to send to various different agencies, hoping that you will receive an invite to an interview, or if not, just some constructive feedback, but I will tell you this. If that is your expectation of corresponding with modelling agencies- LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. Like, a lot. Modelling agencies simply will not send you any response, unless they are interested in you and this is just the way the industry works. No matter how stunning you are, whether you have a great look and a great runway walk, the truth is that 95% of the time or more, you will be ghosted. If I sound bitter, it’s because I am. Just a little 😜 Reason being, I actually was invited for an interview with a successful agency in Dublin whilst I was studying for my masters degree and I travelled down to Dublin with my mum to meet them. I walked into that room and really sold myself, like some fucking candidate on The Apprentice or something and the agency seemed really impressed and actually said that I was a fantastic interviewee. They said they really liked me and were interested in taking me on, however they said that I would need to finish my current studies before coming back and potentially signing with them. Understandably, I was on cloud nine and very excited that a successful agency like theirs actually was interested in signing me. I vowed to complete my masters degree and come straight back to them after I was finished, where they led me to believe that they would have a space for me. However, straight after my masters degree, lockdown hit. And I was stuck at home. I could barely go anywhere, let alone travel down to Dublin to fulfil my modelling dream. So I waited. Had breakdown after breakdown and went through one of the most horrific times of my life, but managed to make it out the other side, barely clutching at my sanity. Eventually, once I felt slightly more stable, I plucked up the courage to get back in touch with them. I sent them an email explaining my interest in working with them and reminding them of our meeting and our agreement that I come back to them after I finished my course. I was still hopeful that they were interested in working with me and I certainly expected a response from them, given their interest and belief in me that they expressed when we first met.

However, I was met with a big fat nothing.

I was ghosted. Yup. I mean let’s be real I should have seen it coming, but whatever.

As much as I talk lightheartedly about it now, this was the one that really hurt. I mean I had spent YEARS looking for an agency, being met with nos left right and centre and as much as I tried to have a thick skin throughout it all, it fucking hurt. And then, I had this leading agency in Dublin interested in me and it was always like that little glimmer of hope in the back of my mind. Throughout all my shit, I thought, “At least I’ll be able to go back to that agency and they’ll potentially sign me!”.

Instead, they discarded me, just like all those other girls with a modelling dream that they discarded before me. Because look, if no one else has told you, modelling is a fickle industry. You are a replaceable commodity that makes them money. There is, of course, so much hard work and creativity that goes into the modelling industry and I am by no means discrediting this AT ALL, however I am simply warning anyone with a modelling dream, to be careful.

If you have thought about being a model, what I would say is this: go for it! If it’s something you really want (and I don’t blame you), go for it, send your pictures into agencies and see what happens. However, DON’T expect a wave of positive replies- it ain’t gonna happen. If you get one or two agencies that acknowledge your existence, or better yet want to actually meet with you, well done you! That’s more than what most girls get.

Dress up, look good, talk the talk, however REMEMBER, these people are not your friends. They very rarely have your best interests at heart. After all, no matter how much money you actually end up making from modelling if you are successful, the agency take a good proportion of it for themselves.

Enjoy the good parts for what it is, because let’s be honest, it is good fun! Like it’s everyone’s dream right? Having makeup artists fawn over you, make you look beautiful and having a photographer snap pictures of you like a celebrity. If you enjoy it for what it is, it’s a great experience. You’ll meet loads of new people and if you are very successful, you might even get to travel abroad!

The dark side of the modelling industry

As most of you probably already know, there is a massive dark side to this industry, which normally comes out as you become more successful and leave Ireland, going abroad. For example, the new ‘it’ girl from an agency, who could be as young as 15 or 16, will typically be sent on a modelling placement abroad in somewhere like London or if they are lucky, New York, Milan or Paris. Said ‘it’ girl will be sent to some of the biggest agencies in the world. And of course, she will be very thin already, like size 6 thin or even thinner.

She will be told to lose weight.

They’ll say it in their own subtle way. “You need to lose a few inches off your hips to fit into our samples”, they’ll say.

Said ‘it’ girl will feel so small. Like they have pretty much called her fat. She will feel fat. Very often, she will develop an eating disorder.

Now back to reality. Because THIS is the reality of the modelling industry. It’s dangerous. It can eat you up.

Luckily, this hasn’t been my experience of modelling, however that’s mostly because one: I have done most of my modelling in Ireland, two: most of the time I didn’t really do it professionally and three: I tried not to take it too seriously! If I had gone into agencies abroad, I would probably have been eaten alive. Like if they are like that to a size 6 model, imagine how horrible they would be to me at a size 10-12. It’s the fucked up thing about the modelling industry. I’ll say this too, whilst there is more diversity now in the form of plus size models, they is very little representation of girls in that grey area in the middle (size 10-14) and this needs to change.

Overall, I think that the key to enjoying modelling is just to not take it so seriously, use it as a great hobby to have in your spare time and just have fun with it! If you want to do it professionally, that’s fine too- just be careful and remember, it’s not as perfect and glamorous an industry as it may seem.

I'm hoping to continue to do modelling in the future, as it's good fun and confidence boosting when done the right way! If anyone knows of any fashion shows or opportunities to do more catwalk, hit me up 😉

Love to you all and hope you enjoyed reading!

Anneli

Xx

Taken by photographer Kay Sukumar in London