Mental Health realities

Hi everyone,

Brace yourselves, I am going to get real here.

Sure, life can be good.

However, sometimes life is hard, like fucking excruciating.

Yup, I know what you’re thinking. It is like that for all of us right?

Wrong.

Don’t hate, let me explain…

Of course, the reality is everyone has issues, as literally every person in my life seems to want to remind me, but the general ups and downs that most people face day to day don’t even hold a candle to the issues faced by those with significant mental illness and in my case, OCD, anxiety and depression.

Of course, this also applies to those with issues like physical disabilities or neurological disorders as well!

For example, a simple thing for most people, simply playing with your pet, going out for lunch with friends/ family or maintaining a happy, lasting relationship, is made very difficult when you deal with intrusive thoughts.

An appropriate visualisation of what I’m trying to say is this: we are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some of us are on super yachts and others only have one oar.

This quote, originally tweeted by the writer and broadcaster Damian Barr, is so true to life and perfectly explains what I am trying to say.

Those with OCD and with other mental illnesses often find that their illness latches onto the things they love.

I can only really speak from experience, but my OCD has latched onto everything from my love for animals, my past relationships and my desire to live a happy, fulfilled life.

Yup, my OCD and mental illnesses have literally done EVERYTHING in their power to stop me from moving on and living a fulfilling, purposeful and happy life, probably because there is a part of me, deep down that believes that I don’t deserve a good life, or that I’m not allowed to live a good life.

Like there’s some kind of master, evil puppeteer in my head that is trying to control my life, keeping me stuck inside my head and trying to force me to live some form of miserable half life, dictated by toxic thoughts and compulsions.

Well fuck that.

I’m saying this, not only to anyone else who can remotely relate to this, but also to myself…

You are more than worthy and fully deserve to live a happy, fulfilling and complete life, no matter what your illness is telling you.

You may think that your illness is in control of you, but guess what?

You are in control. You may feel as if you are being controlled by this master puppeteer, but you can CHOOSE to cut those strings. It just takes a lot of time and determination to do so. This doesn’t mean that you don’t get the same thoughts anymore, it just means that you no longer care to listen to them.

You are in charge of your life, not your mental illness.

Quite honestly, I am still a very long way from where I want to be, hence why I wanted to be real about that on here.

However, you can and WILL find the courage and strength to take back that control. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you, or even if you feel you feel like you can’t muster up the courage to do it just yet.

You are still so incredibly strong, to be living with this. There is an unbelievable strength required to live with a mind that is your own worst enemy, that attempts to hold you hostage.

Take heart in your strength and be so, SO proud of yourself for getting here.

Irregardless of whatever mental illness you have- OCD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, psychosis etc- you are a special kind of person, a warrior, a soldier, the strongest, bravest kind of person imaginable.

You are NOT a burden, a weirdo, a bad friend or anything of the sort.

You are infinitely strong, stronger than most.

Remember that.

Love to you all

Anneli

Xx